


Without you...

by Mandakatt



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Blood and Injury, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Missing Persons, Presumed Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandakatt/pseuds/Mandakatt
Summary: The battle at Gronder field would be one that would haunt Felix for the rest of his life.Because after the smoke cleared, he'd realized that he'd gotten separated from Ashe...and that was a mistake that cost Ashe his life.And now, Felix must figure out how to go on without him.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971853
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: Bad Things Happen





	Without you...

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt of Missing and Presumed Dead from my BTHB card for 2020.

“Hey, Fe…” 

Felix stopped on his way to the training hall, his head slowly turning to glare at Sylvain. “What?”

Sylvain blinked at him as he came to a stop before he gave him a gentle smile. “C’mon, don’t be like that. I just…” and he went a little wide eyed as Felix glared at him harder, almost angrily. “I just wanted to see if you wanted someone to train with today. That’s all.”

Felix took in a deep breath before huffing softly and looking back at the training hall. “Fine.” and without another word pushed his way inside. He moved to where he always kept his training sword before pausing as Ashe’s bow sat propped up against the rack. His hand trembled a little as he stared at it before he clenched his hand into a fist and angrily snatched his sword off the rack. He growled under his breath as he pulled it free of its sheath and tossed that to the dirt before turning his head to look at Sylvain. 

“Right then, I guess we’re doing this the usual way huh?” Sylvain gave him a cocky smirk as he picked up a lance then moved to take up a stance. “Come on then Fe...show me what you’ve got.”

“Stop talking!” Felix growled as he rushed at him, striking at him with such fury in swing that he could actually feel the lance almost rattle in Sylvain’s grip. 

It was a strike that Sylvain was used to, but damn if that extra oomph behind it didn’t surprise him. He quickly corrected his stance, countering with a strike of his own before he spun it, and managed to score a good hit with the shaft against Felix’s ribs. 

But if it hurt or not, Felix never reacted to it.

Felix moved back and went after him again, blow after blow rang out loudly in the hall, followed by Felix’s angry shouting at each strike, but honestly, Sylvain didn’t care. This was the first bit of emotion he’s seen from him in days. Ever since--

“Pay attention!” and Felix brought his sword around, striking him hard enough in the side that it almost knocked the wind out of him. 

“Ah! Fuck!”

“I said,  _ pay attention! _ ”

“I am!” Sylvain smirked at him, taking a step back to take up another stance. “I already managed to hit you once, that says something right…?”

Felix growled and rushed in again, though Sylvain could tell that he was growing more and more angry as his strikes were getting sloppy, and when they had to actually cross weapons once he noticed the dark circles under Felix’s eyes. He blinked at him then scowled. 

“Have you been sleeping…?”

Felix visibly tensed then growled, pushing him off. “I’m fine.”

“Fe--”

“Shut  _ up _ Sylvain. I am fine.” Felix rubbed at one of his eyes before he huffed and took up another stance. “Just--”

“No, you’re not fine.” Sylvain interrupted, a scowl on his face. “Fe. Come on. You know he--”

“Do  _ not say his name _ ,” Felix snarled then suddenly charged in, grunting loudly when his sword bounced off the shaft of Sylvain’s lance. “Do not say anything about him! Do not tell me he would be worried! Do not tell me that he would tell me that I need to rest! Do not--” and he growled as his voice cracked as he rushed him again. “--Do not tell me that he would want me to take care of myself! He is  _ no longer here _ . What he wants doesn’t matter anymore!”

Felix suddenly swung wildly, almost as if he’d lost the grip of his blade. Sylvain took a step back, dropped his lance and suddenly wrapped Felix up in his arms. 

“Let me go!”

“No,” Sylvain clung to him just a bit tighter. 

“Dammit Sylvain! Let me go!” Felix tried to swing at him but all Sylvain did was hold him tighter, his face buried in his hair at the back of his head. He snarled and squirmed only to cry out louder. “Get off me!”

“No.”

“Sylvain!”

“I said. No.” 

Felix growled, his entire form trembling as Sylvain clung to him, and he suddenly remembered that the last time Sylvain had held onto him in such ways was when Glenn--and it was like all the strength went out of his limbs. His sword clattered to the dirt as he hung his head. He felt his entire body tremble as his legs gave out from under him, and it was then he realized the noise he heard in the hall was a noise that  _ he _ was making. 

He was sobbing so hard he could barely breathe. 

“I’ve got you, Fe. Let it out…” Sylvain said softly as they sank to the ground on their knees.

“If… If I had been there…”

“Shhh…” 

“I...every time I go to sleep. I see him. I’m so close but..I just...I  _ can’t _ \--”

“Keep breathing Felix,” Sylvain said softly as he gently held him against his chest, lightly rocking him. “Keep breathing...” 

“...I can’t do this… I can’t… This nightmare has to stop…”

Sylvain looked pained for a moment as Felix continued to sob in his arms, only to realize when it got quiet that Felix had actually cried himself to sleep. With a sigh, he slowly scooped him up into his arms to carry him back to his room. 

“Sylvain?!” 

Pausing on his way, he gave Dimitri a little bit of a smile as the Prince came running up. 

“Is he alright?”

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “He will be eventually anyway.”

Dimitri looked sad for a moment before he nodded his head. “Do let me know if there’s anything I can do?”

Sylvain gave him a gentle smile. “You’ll have to ask him when he wakes up but...yeah. I’ll try.” and he continued on his way. 

Once in Felix’s room he sort of gasped softly at the state it was in. He had to pick his way through the things that were laying haphazardly on the floor on his way to Felix’s bed before placing him gently in it, and covering him up. He knew if he woke alone that Felix would sort of shut down again, so…

“You do know there are other ways of getting me to clean your room, right?” 

Sylvain chuckled softly to himself as he started to pick up the floor. Books, and nicknacks that looked as if they had been thrown at the wall in anger, and he had to be careful to not cut his fingers on something that looked like glass, which might have actually been what was left of one of the cups from the kitchen.

He paused however when he heard Felix shift with a groan from the bed behind him.

“Hey…” Sylvain called gently as he got up from what he was doing and moved over to the edge of the bed to sit down on it. “Hi there.”

“Sylvian?” 

“We’re in your room. You kinda passed out after I hit you pretty good. Sorry bout that!”

Felix gave him a bit of a skeptical look but sighed as he slowly sat up, and leaned against the headboard. His head was absolutely throbbing, but he wasn’t sure if that was from all the crying he did, or if Sylvain had actually hit him and he didn’t remember. 

“I--”

“Yeah! Just a second,” Sylvain called cheerfully as he got up from the bed to answer the door, to find Dimitri and Dedue on the other side of it. “Oh! Well hello there Your Highness. Nice of you to come visit.”

Dimitri gave Sylvain a gentle smile before looking over at Felix. “I am sorry to interrupt, but, we brought you some tea, and...company if you want it.”

“I don’t.” Felix huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Aw c’mon Fe, don’t be like that. The least you can do is drink the tea that Dedue made you.” Sylvain gave him a gentle smile, and noticed that Felix looked at his room in surprise. “Besides, I told you that I was going to help you clean up today, remember?”

“...right.” Felix blinked as most of the mess he’d made of his room was at least straightened, things were put away, and it looked almost as if the room was the way it had used to be before---he sighed deeply then looked over at Dimitri, and Dedue. Then huffed. “Fine, just bring it in and leave it. Then leave…”

Dedue nodded gently and brought in the tray to set it gently on the night table by Felix’s bed. He said nothing as he simply poured Felix a cup, and added just a little milk to it, the way he liked it before passing him the cup and saucer, and Felix blinked at it. 

“...how did--”

“Ashe spoke of you fondly. You were quite the subject of many of our conversations. From what you would like to eat, to how you disliked sweets, to how you took your tea.” Dedue watched him quietly for a moment. “I believe that I have come to know you a little better because of that.”

Felix’s hands trembled enough that the cup rattled gently against the saucer and he had to hold it then with both hands to stop it from doing so. He set it down on his lap and sighed deeply. 

“....why bring that up?”

“Because,” Dedue said softly as a soft gentle smile pulled his lips upwards. “No one is truly gone if you remember them.”

Felix blinked and looked up at Dedue, his eyes wide in surprise for a moment before he realized that Dedue was speaking from experience. He, out of everyone here except for Dimitri, probably understood the loss he was feeling, and with a sigh he looked back at the cup of tea in his hands. 

_ “Oh! You like milk in your tea huh? That’s...I’ve never tried it. Is it good?” _

_ “See for yourself.” _

_ “Oh fr-from your cup?” Ashe blinked at him and timidly took it from his hands, to take a sip. He then blinked. “Wow...I see. The milk actually makes the pine taste a bit more subtle, almost sweet in a way. I learned something new today! Thanks Felix!” _

Felix felt his eyes burn, and he brought one hand up to rub at one of his eyes with a knuckle, as he groaned. Crying wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It didn’t bring anyone back from the dead no matter how much you cried for them to come back. 

The dead were dead and that was it. 

Ashe…

Ashe wasn’t coming back.

He took a deep breath before slowly bringing the tea up to his lips to take a sip, the gentle warmth of it seeping into his bones from the inside. 

_ “Oh! Good morning Felix. I have your tea waiting for you!” _

_ “So you’re really not into sweets huh?” _

_ “Here, it’s a sweet that we used to make at the restaurant. Haha, don’t give me that look, I promise it’s not sickly sweet, but it goes great with tea. The tea you like..uh...specifically.”  _

_ “See!” _

_ “I’m glad you liked it. And of course, I’d love to make them for you again.” _

Felix found himself for the first time in days smiling gently at the cup of tea in his hands, and it was then he realized that Dedue, Sylvain, and Dimitri hadn’t left yet. With a sigh he slowly looked up at the much larger man. 

“...thanks.”

“I am happy to assist.”

Dimitri looked a little relieved and smiled at Sylvain when suddenly a shout caused him to turn on his heel. 

“Your Highness!”

“What is it?”

“A group of Mercenaries have arrived, with someone in tow.”

Dimitri looked confused a moment before looking back at Sylvain and Dedue, then gently nodded his head. Felix had gotten up quickly huffing at the concerned look that Dedue gave him. 

“I’m fine.” 

The four of them hurried quickly to the gate, only to be surprised as the men from Duscur, those same men that had saved Dedue, came walking in. Though the last of them was slow to enter, as they were helping someone to walk that had a hefty limp, but Felix recognized that shock of silver hair anywhere. 

“Ashe?”

The men stopped as the silver haired man lifted his head. He had one eye shut as that side of his head was stained with blood, his right ankle looked pretty badly twisted, and he had his arm around his middle, staunching a wound at his opposite side. 

“H-Hey...s...sorry I’m late...I kinda...got held up.”

“Ashe?!” Felix called again, and when he saw that smile, he rushed forward, pushing through the group of men to get to him. His arms went around him gently, but tightly, a hand fisting in the back of his hair as the two of them sank to the ground, and he buried his face into Ashe’s neck. 

The tears had started again, but he no longer cared. 

“Ashe!”

Ashe laughed a little, giving off a soft wet cough as he clung back to Felix as best as he was able to. “Y-yeah, it’s--ah!”

Felix immediately loosened the grip he had on him to draw his head back and look him over. And it was then that he realized just how hurt Ashe appeared. “Mercedes!”

“I’m here!” Mercedes called back as she pushed through the crowd that had gathered, quickly coming to Ashe’s side. She smiled at Felix brightly as her hands began to glow with magic as she started to heal the worst of Ashe’s wounds. “Don’t worry. He’ll be fine.”

“S-sorry to have caused trou--”

“Shut up.” Felix snapped at him, and though his words were harsh the expression on his face was soft, so full of concern for the man in his arms. “Don’t  _ ever _ scare me like that again, do you hear me?”

Ashe let out a bit of a breathless laugh, and a soft wet cough before he winced a little, then nodded his head. “Y-yeah, I promise.”

“Good. I’m going to make you keep it just like the one that idot Sylvain promised me.” 

“Hey! We were kids when we made that!”

“Yes,” Felix confirmed, but never took his eyes off Ashe. “And so far, you’ve kept it. Same as I will. The same as Ashe will. Right?”

Ashe smiled softly, then lifted his hand to gently cup Felix’s cheek. “Ye-yeah, I promise. For as long as I live.” 

“Good,” and Felix moved close enough to once more hide his face against his neck, but he made sure that he wasn’t in Mercede’s way. His voice trembled, as he softly spoke against his skin. “...please, don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Ashe’s hand moved to the back of Felix’s head as he closed his eyes and sighed. He’d made it back, he was home, and with a smile he promised him softly. 

“I’ll always come back to you, Felix. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me also on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mandakatt) and [Tumblr](https://mandakatt.tumblr.com/)


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